埃莉·亨特
《当下更幸福》一书的作者纳塔莉·科根说：“快乐和情绪健康不是额外或附带的好处，也不是锦上添花，事实上，它们是让我们活得精彩的核心要素。”
寻求快乐听上去也许有些无聊，但有证据表明，快乐能促进对我们健康至关重要的习惯和行为。那么，我们能做些什么让自己在2020年更快乐呢？
科根的建议是养成一种日常习惯，即每天早晨——也许在你去拿手机之前——记录三件让你心存感恩的具体小事。
有证据表明，只要坚持这样的“感恩练习”3周，就能建立促进乐观情绪的新的神经连接，其所产生的影响能持续6个月。
找到持久的快乐还与我们做什么——尤其是为别人做什么——有关。科根说，重要的是要有一种使命感——在我们一个又一个截止日期和会议中找到她所称的“更崇高的目的”。
帮助别人看起来也许是一种能提升自身幸福感的迂回方式，但科根说，即使一些小的举动，例如，帮同事拉椅子或者关心一下他们今天过得怎么样，也能让给予者和接受者的体内分泌催产素。
众所周知，稳固的关系对幸福至关重要，但稳固的关系是什么样的？如何去培养这样的关系？答案可能并不明确。《幸福计划》一书的作者格蕾琴·鲁宾说：“幸福感可能十分抽象。”她说：“我的方法是，想一想你想要什么，然后将它细分为你能付诸行动的可控、具体的行动。”
在家养成温馨的问候和道别习惯是另一个细微而有效的转变。这样轻而易举的投入不那么让人畏惧去开始，也更容易坚持——而且它们切实有效。鲁宾说，我们对幸福的定义各不相同，它可能是快乐、和平、满足，也可能是极致的喜悦。她说：“我的思考方式是：今天、下个月和明年，有没有什么你能做的，让自己更快乐的事？如果有，为什么不去做呢？”
娱乐、感恩和友善也许是生活充满快乐的因素，但自律也能让人快乐。鲁宾说，控制感对幸福而言比许多人意识到的更重要。这其实平淡无奇，与锻炼、睡眠和良好的资金管理密不可分。她说，幸福往往只存在于它能通过戒糖、戒酒或者定闹钟按时上床来实现的那一刻。鲁宾说：“有时，为了让幸福更持久，我们不得不要求自己付出更多或者有所舍弃。”她说：“幸福的人生不只关注当下。”
同样地，相较于全神贯注投入一项艰巨或无趣的任务，推迟它更会减损你的日常体验。生活在伦敦的心理学家萨拉·韦特说，她对于关爱自己就是享受“沐浴和蜡烛”的想法不以为然。她说：“我喜欢这些东西，但如果报税真的令你焦虑，也许你能为自己做的最好的事情就是着手去做。”这也许不是通常意义上的快乐，但可持续、持久的快乐就包括要承认，情绪的调色板上是五彩斑斓的。
研究表明，偶尔接受负面情绪的存在意味着，你体验的负面情绪不那么强了，时间也不那么长了。事实上，迈向幸福生活的第一步也许就是，放下你对所谓幸福生活的执念，意识到幸福生活取决于你自己。（刘白云译自英国《卫报》网站1月1日文章）
The Joy Audit：How to Have More Fun in 2020
Elle Hunt
Nataly Kogan， the author of Happier Now， says: “Happiness and emotional health are not extras， or bonuses， or nice-to-haves – they're actually at the core of what helps us live well.”
Seeking joy may sound frivolous， but being happy has been shown to promote habits and behaviours that are important to our health. So， what can we do to make 2020 a more joyful year？
Kogan suggests making it a daily habit to note three small， highly specific things that you are grateful for every morning， perhaps before you reach for your phone.
Just three weeks of this consistent “gratitude practice” has been shown to establish new neuron connections facilitating optimism， with the effects lasting for six months.
Finding lasting happiness is also about what we do， particularly what we do for others. Kogan says it is important to have a sense of purpose – to find what she calls “the bigger why” among our deadlines and meetings.
Helping others may seem like a circular way of boosting your happiness， but Kogan says even small gestures， such as pulling out a chair for a colleague or checking in with them about their day， releases oxytocin in the giver and the receiver.
It is well known that strong relationships are important to happiness， but what those look like – and how to forge them – can be ambiguous. “Happiness can feel very abstract，” says Gretchen Rubin， the author of The Happiness Project. “My approach is to think about what you want， then break it up into manageable， concrete actions that you can actually take.”
Making warm greetings and goodbyes habitual at home is another small but effective shift. Such low-level commitments are less daunting to start and easier to keep up – and they make a real impact. We all have different definitions of happiness， Rubin says， whether it be joy， peace， satisfaction， bliss. “My way of thinking about it is: today， next month， next year – are there things you can do to be happier？” she says. “And if there are， why not do them？”
Play， gratitude and kindness may factor into a life full of joy， but so can discipline. A sense of control is more important to happiness than many people realise， says Rubin. Prosaically enough， this is inextricable from exercise， sleep and good money management. Too often， happiness is located solely in the moment， she says， when it could be achieved through giving up sugar or alcohol， or setting an alarm to go to bed on time. “Sometimes， to be happier in the long run， we have to ask more of ourselves or deprive ourselves of something，” says Rubin. “A happy life is not one that's focused only on the present.”
In the same vein， putting off a difficult or boring task can detract from your daily experience more than getting stuck into it. Sarah Waite， a London-based psychologist， says she rolls her eyes at the framing of self-care as “baths and candles”: “I love those things， but if doing your tax return is really making you anxious， maybe the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to make a start.” It may not be what is typically understood by joy， but sustainable， long-lasting happiness involves recognising that there are many shades on the emotional palette.
Research shows that occasionally accepting the presence of harder emotions means you experience them less intensely and for less time. In fact， the first step towards a joyful life may be letting go of your ideas of what that looks like – and recognising that it is down to you.
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